Writing...
Life as an author changes from day to day. It's the weirdest job in that you can be on top of the world one day, and totally demoralized the next. I was in that latter category, wondering if maybe I should have majored in molecular biology (or at least found out what that means!) So I went to a small writers' conference this weekend, and I took a screenwriting class (again!) because I really wanted to understand the three act play. This time I asked questions (they use Star Wars and I am the one person on the planet who has not seen this movie), but this time, I knew about the Clone Wars and more about the character arc because my kids talk about it all the time. (I have tried so many times to sit through it, and I just don't care.) I have seen the second one!
Anyhoo, I came home understanding the three-act play, that I do not ever want to write screenplays (it's a visual medium, and not mine) and that I can't see the forest through the trees at the moment. I tried to write a book that was perhaps beyond my means and that is demoralizing. I'm writing a young adult novel and went and looked at the stacks and stacks of authors doing the same thing.
I know this is weird, but I never had the dream of being a bestseller (shh. Don't tell my publishers.) It was more about doing something that mattered to me (making people laugh, making people question their beliefs, search within themselves, that kind of thing.)
But now I wonder if I can't do that better in person. I look at people like Peter Walsh (Oprah's organizing guy) and I think, wouldn't it be great to know so clearly what you were about? Do you think it's a midlife crisis?
I read this really sad obituary the other day, and a beautiful, young 30 year-old woman died after childbirth and her baby died too. The obituary said she'd realized her lifelong dream of being a mother and then went to heaven. And that she'd always be known for her love of designer jeans. I don't really care if I'm known for the writing. It comes right down to that. In the end, I think I want it said that I had compassion and mercy on those the church had forgotten and she made us laugh. What about you?
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8 Comments:
I know what you mean. Although I find the idea of writing a bestseller appealing, I would love to know that what I do (or try to do) IS making a difference somehow. Life is too short. And lately my creativity is flagging. Or something. I've had lots of fun lately living life in the "real" world with its own challenges.
I could use a little less of the real world lately and a high dose of fiction, but ... aside from that ... I'd like to remembered for impacting the lives of my kids (at youth group) and the Lord using me to help them become zealously devoted followers of Jesus Christ. I could have no greater reward than seeing my kids cling to the Cross.
Aside from that, i KNOW I'll be remembered for my sarcasm, realistically poignant foot-in-mouth tactlessness, and my passion for the coffee bean.
Jaime, I'm there with you. I think I'll be remembered for having an opinion on everything. LOL
Lynette, a bestseller is great! I'm not saying I don't want a bestseller,only that it doesn't drive me. I think it's because I read so many bestsellers I can't get through.
Great post, Kristin! Of course, we all want our kids to remember our passion for Jesus first and foremost, but beyond that, I want joy to be my mantra.
Our oldest granddaughter did a little journal for school and in it she had drawn a picture of me. The caption read: "My grandma loves to . . ." and she filled in the word "LAUGH."
I thought my heart would burst with joy. :-)
Oh I love that, Di! That's so you too. :-)
I want my legacy to be that my children and grandchildren know Jesus and know that I love them unconditionally. And I hope they learn from me to always look on the positive side of things.
First of all, I must say it, "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN STAR WARS?!! Okay, that is now off my chest, I can calmly comment. Hee....
I hope that my legacy would be like Colleen's. The most important thing in the world is that my children and generations to come will know the Lord as their personal Savior and to embrace Him for all eternity.
I'm sorta scared to say the spiritual is my legacy because I've seen parents cram it so that their kids reject it, so to me, that's really a matter of prayer.
But like my grandma, I do hope that my kids will see the unconditional love and know it deep in their hearts, that they will feel Jesus in me. I don't want them to be afraid to question, if that makes sense.
I remember asking my mother if Jesus was a Jew, why weren't we? I have that answer at the ready, but my kids are pretty well-versed. No stupid questions like I had. LOL
And no, I haven't seen Star Wars. I know, I know.
I'd like to pass from this life, having left a legacy... a hand-made Teddy bear that I designed in everyone's arms (if they still need need a hug from me), a few inspirational short stories, a dozen or so heartfelt poems... and eventually these 4 novels that I'm crafting finally finished in a style that befits the author. I'm a spiritual gal--just trying to figure out how best to live "in love" until I can go HOME.
An on I breathe... :O)
How about you?
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