Girls Write Out
Wednesday, May 28, 2008

CITY MOUSE/TOWN MOUSE?
We've been discussing whether we are city or town mice on a writer's loop this week. It made me think about conflict and how who we are can cause some inherent conflict. You ever watch the old TV show Green Acres? Oliver loved all the country life but his wife Lisa longed for shopping and nice clothes and dinner with friends. It made for some great inherent conflict. When we get into a relationship--either friends or spouses--we're often either very different (which can cause conflict) or very much alike (and we see and dislike our own faults in the other person).

Take us girls. Kristin is the city mouse all the way. The flighty one who changes her mind every five minutes. Denise is the calm, organized one. She keeps us all in line. Diann is the one strange men tell not to wear black and red together because it's evil. LOL I'm the take charge, get 'er done girl.

Dave and I fall into the very different mode. I'm the people person, he's the quiet one who doesn't say much until he gets to know you. I'm the hand flapper and he's the calm fixer of all problems. LOL I'm the lover of babies, he likes them when they get a little older. He wants to move to Arizona, and I'm going but not happily. LOL

I'm a country mouse. How is this country girl going to adapt to the city life? I doubt it will be an easy move for me. For one thing, I will NOT lock stuff up. I hate wallowing in that fear. Let them steal it if they want it that badly. And I hate traffic. I'll stay off the interstate and stay on surface roads for sure. Plus the people aren't as friendly as here in Indiana. I like to strike up a conversation with people in the store. And I'll miss my family. My parents, Dave's parents, and especially my son and his family--including my baby granddaughter. I'm coming home to see her once a month but that just isn't the same.

So do you have any inherent words of wisdom? How about ways you're different from your best friend or spouse and how do you handle it? Come on, spill your guts!
Colleen Coble  
posted at 7:00 AM  
  Comments (33)
 
 
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33 Comments:
At 10:27 PM, Blogger Diann Hunt said...

I laugh. Hubby doesn't. I don't have a techno bone in my body. Hubby could build robots. I eat chocolate. Hey, he does, too!! Whoohoo!!! We DO have something in common! :-)

 
At 10:32 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Oh I forgot. Dave laughs at videos of people falling which I don't think is a laughing matter. And he doesn't care much for chocolate. Gasp!

 
At 10:37 PM, Blogger Lynette Sowell said...

My hubby is so compulsive about HOW he cleans. Has to be the same way, all the time. I don't care as long as the results turn out okay. I'm much more ADD about cleaning and organizing than he is--oh, look, a book I haven't read in a while...thirty minutes later...

I learn not to fight it. I hang the stupid towels however I feel like it on the towel bar (neatly). And if he goes behind me and turns the towel around, WHATEVER! :)

My hubby has never met a stranger, and grocery shopping can take far too long when we see people we know. I hate grocery shopping. I just want to get it DONE. So we compromise. If we're pinched for time, we say, "If we see someone we know, we'll just do the smile-and-wave and say 'hey!'" :)

 
At 10:40 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

I'm with you, Lynette, if it's clean I'm happy!

 
At 10:59 PM, Blogger Diann Hunt said...

As far as friends go, I have one friend--who shall forever remain nameless--who doesn't drink diet pop, or *GASP* instant coffee, and she doesn't believe God created the color brown. I, on the other hand, am an avid fan of all three! ;-)

 
At 6:41 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

I'm definitely with you on the country girl thing. I grew up in a town where the nearest Wal-mart was 45 minutes away - and everyone was proud of it! Now I live in town in a middle-ish sized town. I feel so closed in. You shouldn't be able to see your neighbor's house from yours. I don't mind it so much in the winter when we're all cooped up and cozy, but around this time of year I get antsy for the country. So we go for long drives on Sunday afternoons or to visit my parents who still live in the country. And I try to count my blessings, which includes Wal-mart trips that are not day-long excursions.

As far as differences between my husband and I, the most glaring would be my over-planning (maybe it was those major forays to Wal-mart - you wouldn't want to drive that far and then forget something) and his natural inclination to go with the flow. I probably make at least one list a day. Every weekend, I make a list of what I need to do before Monday morning. Then if I don't get it all done or something happens to mess up my schedule, I stress about it. My husband is much better at living life one day at a time and trusting God with how it will all work out. However, he does need me to help him plan, because it's not a natural instinct for him. It's a good thing we live close to stores now, because as often as he forgets something (from shopping without a list - horror!) we would always be on the road.

 
At 6:57 AM, Blogger Andrea said...

I am definitely a country girl and he's a city boy. I love it out in the middle of nowhere! He likes things close and less yard work.

I'm the worrier and he's the laid back-it will all work out kinda guy. I am trying to be more that way!

Colleen, we will hate to lose you in IN! AZ is a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there either.

 
At 8:28 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Ha! No right thinking person would drink diet coke or instant coffee! And brown is fine on springs, autumns and summers! You're a winter!

 
At 8:29 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Cute picture, Sarah! Andrea, I'll be back to Indiana so often, you won't even miss me! LOL

Isn't it funny how opposites attract?

 
At 11:59 AM, Blogger Kristin said...

Bryed and I both like kids, that would be about it. He's a cat person, I'm a dog person. He's a country boy, I'm a city girl. I tried the cat. I tried the country for three years.

We're now in the city with a dog. You know what they say, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. '

And Colleen, you have to watch MXC on Spike -- I think America is copying with a show called Wipeout. It's intentional for people to fall in unflattering ways. Oh, same with Human Tetris. Dave and I have Japanese humor, I guess. I find people trying to maintain grace while taking a dive, hysterical. : )

And lest you think it's about other people, one time I wore my mom's slip and it fell around my ankles and tripped me, and I stood on the street and cracked up.

 
At 12:29 PM, Blogger Pam Sanderlin said...

What?! You're moving to Arizona? Since when? Did you announce that before and I just figured it out?

 
At 12:33 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

We've talked about it some on the blog, Pam. But I'll be back in Indiana a LOT. And we aren't going until we sell the house. Maybe that will take a while! LOL

Watching people get hurt is Japanese humor, K? LOL I laugh at making a fool of myself too. I just hate to see people fall! I've broken too many bones too often.

 
At 12:50 PM, Blogger Melanie's Words Work said...

I'm a very adaptable mouse. I interned in D.C. and loved it, but in the more than a decade since, I've lived mostly in mid-sized towns. However, my favorite vacation spot is a little cabin on a creek in a town called Pittman Center. It's close enough to Gatlinburg to have some fun, but reclusive enough to satisfy my soul.

I have no problems visiting larger cities, though. I have friends and family who avoid driving through Atlanta at all costs. I drove through to attend a writers conference with no problems. When I lived in Sevierville, Tenn., I about cracked up when I realized friends talking about stores being found only "out West" mean west Knoxville, which was maybe an hour away.

Chicago was fun for a visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. It reminded me of Eastern Kentucky, in a way. The skyscrapers create "hollers." And I wasn't a big fan of Miami when I visited, either. Baltimore and Charleston I love, but I realize they're not "city" standards by some folks.

 
At 1:07 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Oh I wouldn't live in Chicago for any amount of money, Melanie (no offense to Chicagoans!) but the the traffic there is worse than NY City. At least in NY, other drivers will give you space to slide in. In Chicago it's how can we crowd you out? LOL And O'Hare airport is the worst in the country.

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger Valerie said...

Am I a city mouse or a country mouse? Hmm. I don't know. I've lived in the mountains of PA - coal mining country - and we had to travel 45 in any direction just to get to a mall or a K-mart. Now I live in the outskirts large town where there are 2 malls and 2 Targets and 2 Walmarts. I like the idea of country living, but I love the convenience of having everything close by.

Now I can't really speak to the grandparent issue, but perhaps I can offer some perspective as a granddaughter. You see, my parents are practically from opposite ends of the country - northern Maine and and southwest Kansas. When they married, they settled half way between both sets of parents.

When my sister and I were kids, Mom and Dad made sure we got to see each set of grandparents once a year. Does that sound drastic? Maybe, but it made us appreciate them even more. We made the most out of our visits. Truly.

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Oh man, I'm wincing, Valerie! Once a year. I couldn't take it. LOL

I used to spend the weekend with my grandparents all the time.

 
At 3:14 PM, Blogger Valerie said...

Colleen,

It was all we ever knew, so I guess we didn't know what we were missing. :)

You know what? I think I could take small-town living as long as I had a Wal-mart. :)

My family and I have traveled all around the U.S. and parts of Europe; but our hands-down favorite place to go is Mom's hometown of Washburn, ME. It's very small, quiet and just great. Best place in the world to relax! :) Mom's parents have gone home to be with the Lord, but we love going up there to visit with the rest of her family. There's nothing like it!

You'll be ok, Colleen. Good luck!

 
At 3:27 PM, Blogger Pam Sanderlin said...

On some things, my husband and I are opposites: He's quiet, I'm not. He likes cooking, I don't. He's into sports, I'm not. He's serious, I'm silly.

However, on some things we're alike: We both like living overseas; both like bird-watching; both are competitive when we play games; and both love books.

 
At 5:04 PM, Blogger dave c said...

Ok, here is the real story. We purchased land 1 1/2 hours northwest of our daughter in Goodyear, which is 2 hours from Phoenix. The nearest town is 3 miles and has an outrageous number of people (1,500). Yes, I'm taking her from a town of 12,000 to the big city of 1,500. I should be ashamed. The nearest Wal-mart is 29 miles as well as the nearest Hospital. The traffic will be horrendous but if they don't get all 6 of the towns cars out at the same time it should not be that bad. The real truth is, it's all about the baby!!!!!

 
At 5:05 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Okay, we do have land. But we are going to Phoenix to flip houses. LOL So he's leaving out some important facts.

But yes it is all about the baby!

 
At 9:19 PM, Blogger Krista Phillips said...

What's so wrong about it being all about the baby??? :-)

My hubby and I’s differences: He is quiet as all get out, I can’t shut up once you get to know me. He likes sweet tea, I like coke. He likes camping, I much prefer hoteling with running water and preferably a spa. He likes kites (he’s weird.. I know…), I like malls. He likes playing music, I like singing really loud off key just to be weird and annoy him. He does like chocolate though… it was a prerequisite to marriage!

Am I a country or city girl? I would say both, but no extremes. I don’t mind visiting NY or Chicago, but would NEVER want to live there. However, I also was forced against my will to live in MN for 2 years before I graduated high school. Our small town had a post office the size of a small storage shed, and a church. Nothing else. The nearest gas station was 30 minutes away, with another 15 minutes to the nearest half-way decent town. It was another 2 hours to the nearest Walmart. Yeah, I moved the day after I graduated high school.

Finally, you asked for suggestions. My first suggestion would be to kick, scream, beg and plead not to go. Then I would resort to the old ‘sleeping on the couch’ trick. When that didn’t work, I would realize that dad-gum-it, I probably needed to grow up and stop complaining (in front of him anyway… complaining to your friends is still your right!). At that point, make sure your air conditioner is working, and you have plenty of fans. I would also recommend you take a picture of the snow (well, it’s May, so on your next winter visit…) as you won’t be seeing much of it were you’re going! Oh, and I hear eBay is a good place to get rid of those winter jackets and sweaters!

 
At 10:55 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Krista, you sound like you've been to AZ. LOL I actually love Arizona. But I don't love leaving my grandbaby. You're right--what's wrong with it being all about the baby? LOL

And to be honest, this was our dream for many years. It's just the baby changed everything.

I'm with you on the camping! My idea of roughing it is a Holiday Inn. LOL

 
At 10:56 PM, Blogger Ellie said...

Definitely a city girl. I currently live in Downtown San Jose, but that doesn't count.

As to spousal differences I am in the midst of discovering those and what a discovery. I've been engaged for two months, 108 days until I say "I Do" and I am discovery that even with similarities there are differences within those similarities.

The biggest and most obvious - I am originally from England and he is from France - that there sums up a lot of our differences!!!

 
At 11:13 PM, Blogger Krista Phillips said...

Yeah, my hubby was a southerner all the way, and I was a Yankee:-) I think the key is to laugh at your differences and have fun with it. A happy marriage is one where you can laugh at each other, make fun of each other, and love each other still in the end!!

My hubby made me go camping with him when I was 4 months pregnant with my 2nd child. I was not happy, but was dutiful because I loved him and wanted to show my support. I didn't sleep a wink all night, and I was so sore the next day, I just don't want to even talk about it.

We have not gone since. I think he realized I am just no fun to go with:-) He did take my two eldest daughters a few weeks ago and they had a blast. I did too... in my nice air conditioned house with a toilet that flushed. I keep telling him when all the kids are a little older, I'll go again.

I think he is nervous that this means we will end up with a LOT of kids. I have to admit, the thought did cross my mind... Gabby is 2 now, and he is starting to hint that she is almost old enough for the camping experience... Not sure giving birth is worth not having to go camping though. It is pretty close though...

 
At 11:20 PM, Blogger Lynette Sowell said...

HOUSE FLIPPING. Oh. You are VERY brave. I'm sure you'll find some book ideas. :)

 
At 11:59 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Im a country bumpkin, grew up on a farm till 8 then lived in this small country town of around 5,000. Oh i wouldn't like to live on a farm now i like having a service station round the corner if i need milk, chocolate or say chocolate!
but its nice. Our closest big shopping is over an hour away. We have supermarkets but not shops like Walmart (its not in australia) but kmart, target are.
alot of my friends are city slickers and we get on fine I enjoy going to the city for visits but I dont think i would like to live there. I like that we know our neighbours and they will help if needed. I like being able to ride to the main street on a bike and its 8 mins away. walking its about 18 mins.
everything is easy to get to.

 
At 12:24 AM, Blogger Beth said...

I'm a country mouse. Although I do like visiting the city.
Unfortunately I am currently living in one of the outer suburbs of one of Australia's largest cities.
Every time I've moved during my life I've ended up in a bigger town/city.
Now I want to go back to the country. There's clean air and you can see the stars at night - even some of those little ones. It's just not the same in the city.
When I visit the county it always feels like I'm going home.

 
At 8:08 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Girls, here in the U.S. it's even hard to fathom Australia having cities. LOL I mean logically I KNOW you have Brisbane, Sydney, and Melbourne, etc. But the images that come to mind when I hear the word are of the outback. LOL Or the ocean. Funny! Seeing Australia is one of my life goals. It's called my name since I was a teenager for some reason.

One of these days . .

 
At 8:09 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Lynette, you know me too well. . . The creative juices are already moving. LOL

 
At 9:10 AM, Blogger Rita Gerlach said...

I live on the edge of a moderate-sized Maryland town. We still have strong roots in our history here, and have preserved the historic district and the Civil War battlefields. But we are growing and it's sad. Schools are bursting at the seams and the traffic is horrible.

I'm happy to still have the farm across the street, see the wheat waving in the breeze, and the mountain range beyond. But the farm has been sold and in a few years a housing development is going in.

So, I guess I'm stuck between city and country...making me both. I'll take the peace and quiet of the country anytime, and the convenience of grocery stores and a Walmart with it.

 
At 6:12 AM, Blogger Pam Sanderlin said...

What is "house flipping"?

 
At 7:12 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Pam, house flipping is when you buy a house that needs some help. You redo it and sell it to make a profit. Those types of TV shows are very popular here.

 
At 9:22 PM, Blogger Beth said...

Colleen, you'll just have to take a trip down under one of these days. There is so much to see and do in Australia. If you're ever planning a trip I'd love to show you a few of my favorite spots - in both the city and country.
Blessings,
Beth

 

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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

www.KristinBillerbeck.com

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

www.ColleenCoble.com

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

www.DeniseHunterBooks.com

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

www.DiannHunt.com

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

www.HannahAlexander.com

 
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