Wednesday, May 21, 2008
From the quiet, semi-clean space of homes across the world, a deep throaty cry is heard. Yes, stay-at-home mom, summer is amost here. Gone is the quiet, gone is the clean, gone is the sanity. Or is it?
Having done this a time or two (my oldest is 15), I thought I might offer some tips for moms who might be new at this. And if you’re an old pro like me, please feel free to share your own tips.
Summer Survival Tips
1. Crack down early. This is crucial. The whole discipline/responsibility thing may have gotten a little out of hand throughout the chaotic school year. You haven’t had the time, energy, or sense to stay on top of the little monsters. Er, uh, darlings. Make a chart, use a color system, whatever works for you, but do it right away. I use a dry erase board and the kids keep tally of their own points for the week (deductions for leaving things out, pestering, not listening the first time, etc). Rewards and consequences come on the basis of those points. Stick with it the whole summer so they know you mean business.
2. Stay busy. Need I say how slowly summer will drag if you and your munchkins are home day after day after day? Yeah, enjoy summer, sleep in, hang around a bit, but don’t go overboard. Go to the park, plan a play date, have your friends’ kids sleep over. Make plans. It gives everyone a break from boredom.
3. Teach skills. The school year schedule leaves little time for teaching the kiddos how to do the laundry, fold clothes, do dishes, scrub a toilet. Think of all the help they’ll be once they know how. And start an allowance system while you’re at it. It will teach the kids how to use a budget and stop the annoying “Can I have money for . . .” plea.
4. Buy stock in Blockbuster. Okay, only kidding. Kind of. A kid-friendly movie here and there won’t kill them and might give you a couple hours of peace between the siblings. If you sit down and watch with them . . . all the better.
5. Have fun with your kids. They’re doing the dishes and helping with laundry right? You have time to play a board game or pass the baseball with your future Dodger star. Besides, you don’t want the first line in your child’s Summer Break essay to start, Well, other than listening to my mom yell . . .
Having done this a time or two (my oldest is 15), I thought I might offer some tips for moms who might be new at this. And if you’re an old pro like me, please feel free to share your own tips.
Summer Survival Tips
1. Crack down early. This is crucial. The whole discipline/responsibility thing may have gotten a little out of hand throughout the chaotic school year. You haven’t had the time, energy, or sense to stay on top of the little monsters. Er, uh, darlings. Make a chart, use a color system, whatever works for you, but do it right away. I use a dry erase board and the kids keep tally of their own points for the week (deductions for leaving things out, pestering, not listening the first time, etc). Rewards and consequences come on the basis of those points. Stick with it the whole summer so they know you mean business.
2. Stay busy. Need I say how slowly summer will drag if you and your munchkins are home day after day after day? Yeah, enjoy summer, sleep in, hang around a bit, but don’t go overboard. Go to the park, plan a play date, have your friends’ kids sleep over. Make plans. It gives everyone a break from boredom.
3. Teach skills. The school year schedule leaves little time for teaching the kiddos how to do the laundry, fold clothes, do dishes, scrub a toilet. Think of all the help they’ll be once they know how. And start an allowance system while you’re at it. It will teach the kids how to use a budget and stop the annoying “Can I have money for . . .” plea.
4. Buy stock in Blockbuster. Okay, only kidding. Kind of. A kid-friendly movie here and there won’t kill them and might give you a couple hours of peace between the siblings. If you sit down and watch with them . . . all the better.
5. Have fun with your kids. They’re doing the dishes and helping with laundry right? You have time to play a board game or pass the baseball with your future Dodger star. Besides, you don’t want the first line in your child’s Summer Break essay to start, Well, other than listening to my mom yell . . .
Monday, May 19, 2008
I've never had pretty fingernails. When I'm around women with beautiful nails, I bend my fingers at the middle knuckle so my nails won't show. Then I look like I have ten stubs. That's not a real great look either, in case you wondered.
Still, it's a fate I've learned to live with. They tell me it's because I type all the time, but my toenails aren't great, either--though they are stronger (think tree bark). Yeah, I'm pretty proud of that.
My fingernails are paper thin and they actually tear. And please don't tell me that chocolate consumption is the problem. I couldn't live with that.
I've tried to polish them with the products that boast of making nails stronger. Can you believe I actually develop some kind of problem beneath my nails that causes the nail to lift off the nail bed when I use that stuff? I almost lost a whole nail once because of it.
I got my nails professionally done for my daughter's wedding and my fingers throbbed so hard they vibrated through the entire ceremony. Afterwards, people lined up for shoulder massages. It was embarrassing, really.
The truth is I drink milk. Not tons, but some. I take calcium. So now what? Is there anything out there that can help me--or am I destined to wear gloves and look like a Michael Jackson wanna be? Anyone know Sally Hansen's secret?
Sunday, May 18, 2008
I am drowning!! Oh my gosh, Denise's post on her clean pantry just made me feel worse about how out of control life is! My desk is a disaster, covered in paperwork, homework for the kids, Friday folders, things to do, bills to pay. And the mess isn't just in front of me, it's all over because I do not have eight hands and I'm cleaning after 12 hands!
So I'm showing my pantry, which is a mess and yet, the kids say there's nothing in the house to eat! Grocery shopping trips are getting the bare minimum amount of time while I try to write, pick up kids, get them to soccer, the tutor, friend's houses for projects, playtime, and worse than any of this...school is getting out next month, so they'll be here all day unless I take the time to plan some summer camps. There's not enough coffee in Sumatra for what's coming!
When I am writing, it's like my mind takes up all my admin skills to keep the story straight, and the house starts to become what my brain feels like! So tonight I started Kristin Boot Camp. I'm training the kids to pick up after themselves WITHOUT me telling them, and I'm getting tough. For every one minute I waste picking up socks, chip bags, etc., left in the family room, they're going to give me five full minutes of scrubbing!
There is nothing like a messy house to make you feel like a failure.
Friday, May 16, 2008
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Thursday, May 15, 2008
Lessons from my Pantry
I finished the first draft of my Women of Faith novel and immediately celebrated by cleaning out my panty. Yeah, sad, I know. But it’s been bugging me, seeing all that food, knowing half of it was old or stale or worse. Finding crumbs and sticky spots under everything I picked up.
So I did it, and I learned a few things in the two hours it took me to clean it out.
1. Ice cream sprinkles have no expiration date.
2. Old nuts taste really gross.
3. I buy way too much cereal.
4. Buying new foods is a waste of money. My kids don’t like them and they end up wasted.
5. Even with my black thumb, I can grow very long potato sprouts.
6. Old potatoes stink.
7. Marshmallows become petrified after a couple years.
8. Food that survived Y2K should’ve been tossed long ago.
9. Old chocolate, even discolored, still tastes good.
10. I have a blender!
I finished the first draft of my Women of Faith novel and immediately celebrated by cleaning out my panty. Yeah, sad, I know. But it’s been bugging me, seeing all that food, knowing half of it was old or stale or worse. Finding crumbs and sticky spots under everything I picked up.
So I did it, and I learned a few things in the two hours it took me to clean it out.
1. Ice cream sprinkles have no expiration date.
2. Old nuts taste really gross.
3. I buy way too much cereal.
4. Buying new foods is a waste of money. My kids don’t like them and they end up wasted.
5. Even with my black thumb, I can grow very long potato sprouts.
6. Old potatoes stink.
7. Marshmallows become petrified after a couple years.
8. Food that survived Y2K should’ve been tossed long ago.
9. Old chocolate, even discolored, still tastes good.
10. I have a blender!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Does anyone ever like their driver's license photo?
Remember the one you hated eight years ago? Don't you wish you could carry it around now? Okay, maybe it's just me, but I'd like to hang on to the old one. Is there an emotional layer in there somewhere? You know, struggling to "let go" of my youth or something? I don't think so, but then I've never really discussed this with a professional.
But WHY do we have to have the picture taken? I mean, do we REALLY look like that? Please say no.
And putting our weight on there for everyone and his dog to see is just wrong. It's truly something that could throw a perimenopausal woman into a hot flash. I should know. When a 110 pound, sixteen-year-old cashier lingered over my information with a smirk on her skinny little bone face, I almost combusted on the spot.
As you've probably guessed, I have to get a new driver's license this year. I'm thinking of an extreme makeover before then. Okay, maybe not. It would cut into my coffee money.
So in the meantime, any suggestions as to how I might not look like a model for the FBI Most Wanted poster? Any rule of thumb to follow? And Colleen, don't you dare tell me not to wear brown or beige. I'm saving those colors for the conference.
What do YOU do to be able to live with your driver's license--the picture AND nitty gritty details that only God should know?
Monday, May 12, 2008
Does this dog make my butt look fat?
I hike with my neighbors one day a week. One of them is a professional dog walker, and so we go with about 6 to 11 dogs. All of them huge, except mine, and my friend Keiko sent me this picture and my first thought was, I totally need a bigger dog. Now everyone who walks with me is no bigger than an inch. I am NOT a big woman and I feel Amazonian next to them all. But I'm the only American and aren't we supposed to be the fattest country?
Speaking of which, as you know, much of my pondering in life takes place in the coffee shop. I'm there every morning, and I have noticed something. People who order fat-free, sugar-free lattes and mochas, the Americanos? They're usually bigger. First off, I think that fake sugar makes you hungry, not to mention it's terrible for you and your body can't digest it. But I also think real sugar fills you up more, and so you're happy with your 350 calorie mocha. You don't need to cram down a muffin.
This does not count for the six-pack girls who come from the gym and order an iced coffee. They're just sick and I can't identify at all. I think they could drink sawdust and be equally happy -- they were born without taste buds don't you know?
I gained weight lately, can you tell? But I'll exercise, I will not be drinking a sugar-free/fat-free anything. Blech! In case you're wondering, I drink a small soy mocha with whip every day. On Fridays and Sundays, I get a large. : )
Doesn't Fiona look cute in her little Italia jacket?
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
JULIET:
'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.
Anyone else out there a huge Romeo and Juliet fan? The version with Olivia Hussey? LOL I about drove my parents crazy listening to the LP of that movie over and over. I can still quote it in huge chunks. LOL But I digress. I'm actually here to talk about names. I've been thinking about names a lot since my granddaughter will be coming in a few months. What will be her name? My editor Ami McConnell also taught me to think hard about names when writing a new book. So I'm very name focused.
I'll tell you the one piece of advice I give pregnant women then I'd love you to tell me YOUR suggestions about dos and don'ts when it comes to names. My number one DON'T is not to call your child by his/her MIDDLE name. It was the style back in the day and my parents called me and my brother Randy by our middle names. I love my name Colleen because it's different. I have only run into a handful of other Colleens in my life so I like unique names. But I wish it had been my first name. Calling a kid something other than their first name seriously messes with their sense of identity. People can call me Peggy until the cows come home and I won't look. They had to tap me on the shoulder.
Some people think it's fine because the teachers ask what to call the child. Um, no. School is a TINY part of the name disconnect. I'm 56 years old and it's still a huge annoyance. I go to a doctor's office and they call me Peggy. I sit there for fifteen minutes before they call me again and I get it. LOL Any legal documents are in the name of Peggy. It's something that carries through a child's whole life. So don't do it!
Peggy is my mother's name and it's wonderful on her. I can't imagine her as any other name. But it's not ME. I'm Colleen. LOL
So what's your name advice?
